Rejection; something no one likes but everyone experiences. And if you’re one of those annoying ‘high school sweethearts’ couples, fine; you will be rejected by friends and jobs and shit. We all end up on the other side of rejection, too, so let’s not feel too bad for ourselves. The key to getting through the inevitable rejection that comes with life is to handle it with a little bit of dignity and a little bit of class.
If you have say, ten romantic encounters before you get married (to be conservative), that means you will be shot down by someone you have feelings for at least ten times (maybe shot down is a little harsh, how about politely asked to get out of their life, forever). It’s understandable that you’re going to get upset, especially after the first five. Five rejections is hard enough, but just remember you have five more to go through if you are part of the conservative number.
I’m becoming somewhat of an expert in rejection (let’s say it will be more than ten by the time I get married) and I’m not saying I’m perfect at it, but I’ve learned how to handle it over the years. Yes, you’re going to get upset. Yes, you’re going to be angry and wonder why and ask what happened. Yes, this is all ok. But to keep your dignity and your class, do all this alone. Like, late at night, in your room, eating ice cream and watching The Notebook crying because you’ll never have a love like Noah and Ali’s (you won’t, it’s fictitious; Nicholas Sparks lied to you all). No one wants to hear about the asshole who told you “he’s not looking for anything serious” or “I’m just not ready to give you what you need” for days on end. They also don’t want to hear about how you never heard from him again and maybe he’s just on vacation (he’s not). The best thing to do is to just never bring it up until someone asks what happened to that guy from the bar (no, don’t do it) or the customer you gave your number to (we all know at this point to not do that). Then you can casually say it’s not going anywhere and be done with it. And later on you can go home and cry or listen to Taylor Swift really loud in your car and sing your heart out while you drive home. I may or may not do the latter from time to time…
And that’s how to deal with rejection on your end. But we’re forgetting something; how to deal with the guy rejecting you. This can almost be harder than dealing with the after effects of being politely asked to get out of someone’s life. You want to play it cool; you want him to think you are handling it great and don’t even care that much. Also, you need to maintain this illusion of sanity. If you have him on Facebook or Instagram, don’t go posting pictures or statuses about how sad and lonely you are (not just for his sake; nobody wants to read your sad quote about being alone forever. Fun fact, that’s how you end up alone forever). If you are a constant poster, post the same things you would before he ended it with you. If you agreed to stay friends, wait at least a month before trying to contact him in any way. Any earlier and he might realize your craziness. And lastly, if you’re going to put yourself in a position where you will see him again under any circumstances (don’t ask, that’s a story for another day) make damn sure you are over him or it will make for a few weeks of emotional uncertainty and another inevitable rejection.
I’ve learned all this from experience, and they say practice makes perfect (this doesn’t look good on me anymore). So extending my appreciation from last week, I’d like to thank all the men who have helped me perfect the classy rejection. Not one of those guys knows how crazy I am. And that means I win.
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